Eligibility
To compete you must
- Be 18 or older.
- Be a Legal resident of the United States United States citizen.
- Own a blog or at least be a regular commenter on one.
- Be familiar with the values and ideals of SWAC.
Judging–
Each contestant will be judged in the following categories:
1) Essay– In the Essay portion of the competition each contestant will compose an essay on a variety of topics of utmost importance in SWACistan, from RINO detecting techniques to the art of circle linking. The contestant will be awarded points for complimenting grass mentioning the number of blogs they have linking to them, bragging about their BNN rankings and saying things like “win the war” and “true republicans like me”. Bonus points will be awarded for each blog that circle links to your essay. The Essay counts for 25 percent of the contestant’s overall score.
The rest is below the fold.
2) Flag Waving– In the Flag Waving portion of the competition the contestant must hold a flag and wave it to show their patriotism and support for the troops. Contestants will be judged on finesse, rhythm, choreography and originality. Any contestant using a flag other than the official flag of the United States of America will be instantly disqualified and labled a liberal and banned from any future competitions. Bonus points and purple hearts awarded for injuries sustained from vigorous flag waving, and also for injuries occurring from patting one’s self on the back.The Flag Waving portion of the competition counts for 35 percent of the contestant’s overall score
3) Lifestyle & Fitness in Patriotic Clothing–In the Patriotic Clothing portion of the competition contestants wear their most patriotic outfit. Judging for this portion of the competition focuses on patriotism, and the ability to attract attention. The use of lapel pins and campaign stickers is strongly encouraged. While wearing their patriotic clothing contestants will be required to walk 2 miles holding a clip board to simulate signature gathering. The patriotic Clothing competition counts for 15 percent of the contestant’s overall score.
4) Sign Design– In the Sign Design portion of the competition, the contestants are judged on their ability to design and produce an eye catching sign to be displayed either at a protest rally, support the troops gathering or as a yard sign. Points are awarded based on potential media coverage as well as correct spelling. Any friendly-fire incidents, or self inflicted vandalism (eg. “Eats babies”) that defaces one’s own, or a fellow SWACistani sign will not result in points earned, but will likely impress the judges.The Sign Design portion of the competition counts for 20 percent of the contestant’s overall score.
5) Random Question– During this portion of the competition each contestant must answer a random question from a pre-determined list. Each contestant will be given 24 hours to research their question and reply, providing appropriate links to back up their answers. Facts, logic, or reason not necessary . The Random Question counts for five percent of the contestant’s total score.
FAQs
1. Do I have to live in SWAC to enter?
No, here at the Miss SWACistani Contest Headquarters we feel that SWAC is more an ideology than a physical location. Anyone who meets the requirements for eligibility may enter.
2. I don’t agree with the SWAC way of thinking. Can I still compete?
No, absolutely not! SWAC is a very tight small circle and very exclusive. However, it is a long standing tradition in SWAC to use fictitious identities so as long as you can imitate a SWACistani you may enter.
3. But I’m a man. What is there a separate competition for me?
There is only one Miss SWACistani competition. However, men may enter. They will be judged exactly the same as the women except that during the Patriotic Clothing competition all men will be required to drive 6 metal stakes and attach 3 campaign signs to them. Should a man win the competition he will be crowned Mr. SWACistani not Miss SWACistani.
4. How do I enter?
First make sure you meet all the requirements. You may either send you essay directly to the MIss SWACistani Competition or you may post it to your blog and email a link. (Remember– Bonus points for circle linking.) Post or email photos or videos for the flag waving and patriotic clothing portions. An image may be emailed for the sign design competition or an actual sign may be mailed. The random question may be submitted by email or as a blog post.
5. I have immigrated legally but am not a citizen. Why can’t I compete?
Well technically you can as long as you have a letter of recommendation from the Dean Wealty, the leader of the Valley Family Forum or have lost you job for promoting SWAC values.
6. I still have questions.
No problem. Shoot me an email. rulerofthezoo at gmail dot com
Entries (RSS)
Why have you not reported or commented on this?
Kind of a big deal I would think.
I have waited to see what you would do, and obviously you intend to write nothing…
Why might this be?
To quote Megan on her own site:
“I want to see someone lose a job.”
“I want to see boycotts.”
“I want to see hate mail.”
“I want to see outraged blog posts.”
Wow. I just clicked on Lowell’s name and got sent to a cite for “Free Thinking Individuals” but all the content was promoting democrats. Funny, now marching in lockstep with the democrats suddenly means “free thinking.” And even though he seems to have his own blog cite, which I presume nobody else goes to except by mistake as I just made, where he can blog about whatever he wants, instead he comes here to try to force others to blog on issues that he deems important. OK.
Mebbe there was a good reason he was not elected?
Really, Lowell. First I’ve seen it. If you want ME in particular to blog about something you know my email or you can give me a call. Or you could even put out your own post. You don’t need to hijack a thread.
The incident that I wrote the quoted words you quoted about involved a well known, politically connected liberal making very raciest and downright disturbing comments. It was all over the media. Liberal bloggers in Virginia have a history of crucifying conservatives that do the same. And liberals in general have a history of staging protests boycotts and sending hate mail over what they believe to be raciest. I was hoping liberal bloggers wouldn’t prove them selfs to be as hypocritical as I believed them to be. D O U B L E S T A N D A R D
Tell you what Lowell, what with a crazy day keeping up with 4 kids and Myron and all I can’t shoehorn in the necessary emotion. If you would write something up I’ll be glad to read it on RockDem.
Seriously, I’ll take a look at it if it would mean that much to you. I should have more time when John goes down for a nap. I used to be able to type and hold him at the same time, but lately he likes to try to help. And right now he wants breakfast.
HRR, you crack me up. I’ve noticed the same thing…how in the world can you claim to be “free thinking” when your whole site is devoted to Democrats??? And yep, I went there by mistake too once…wanna bet that if I started posting there I’d be shouted down as some crazy “neocon” warmonger?? Of course, “free thinkers” wouldn’t do that, but I digress…
No RF, they would politely listen to your reasoning and ask insightful, logical and reasonable questions, and then convert to your political views. Just before hell froze over.
HRR.